Michail Antonio says he has had to “swallow his ego” as he prepares for his first club appearance in 15 months, admitting the road back from his near-fatal car crash has been as much mental as physical.
Now 35, the striker has signed a short-term deal with Qatari side Al-Sailiya SC in the Qatar Stars League after English clubs hesitated to take a chance on him following the devastating accident in December 2024.
Antonio suffered multiple leg fractures when his Ferrari spun off the road and hit a tree in Epping Forest during Storm Darragh. He shattered his femur in four places and has no memory of the crash itself.
“I don’t remember any of it,” he explained. “My family lived it more than I did.”
The former West Ham United forward has not played club football since the crash, returning only briefly to action with the Jamaica national team in June, making three substitute appearances. Those came after months of painstaking rehabilitation in which he had to relearn the basics.
“I had to learn to walk again, then run, then jump,” he said. “But the hardest part wasn’t the recovery. It was the knockbacks.”
Antonio insists he still feels capable of competing at the highest level, pointing to a decade of consistency in the Premier League. During his time at West Ham he made 323 appearances and became the club’s all-time leading Premier League scorer with 68 goals.
“I’ve still got the qualities I had in the Premier League for the past 10 years,” he said. “You could see that, because once I trained with managers, every single one was putting a contract in front of me.
“But there were managers and clubs who refused to even look at me because of the accident and the injury. Some owners just didn’t want to take the risk. In football, the manager might want you, but it’s the owner’s money.”
Initially, Antonio’s pride got in the way. When clubs asked him to prove his fitness in training before offering a deal, he resisted.
“With the ego I had, I said: ‘I’m not coming to train. You’ve seen me play for Jamaica, you’ve seen what I’ve done for 10 years. I shouldn’t have to train to get a contract.’ But clubs said, ‘If you don’t train, we won’t sign you.’”
After months of frustration — including training with West Ham’s under-21s and returning to Jamaica duty — he accepted he had to compromise.
“My agent said: ‘You’re going to have to train and prove your fitness.’ I had to swallow my ego. That’s how I ended up at Brentford FC. I trained with them for two weeks.”
Talks with Brentford progressed, but on the eve of signing he tore his calf.
“When I found out I’d torn my calf the day before signing for Brentford, I lay in bed for two days,” he admitted. “The first day I was just crying. The second day I didn’t even want to get up. I thought, ‘I’m back where I want to be, back in the Premier League,’ and then it was gone.”
A similar situation unfolded with Leicester City FC.
“I was meant to return to Leicester, but they didn’t want to bring me back in because they didn’t want a relapse on their books. So I trained on my own for a week and then went into Charlton Athletic FC.”
A pay-as-you-play arrangement with Charlton was close to completion when an unexpected opportunity arose. Jamaica team-mate Mason Holgate, already at Al-Sailiya, was asked by manager Mirghani Al Zain if he knew an available striker after their first-choice forward was injured.
“Last Monday I got the call,” Antonio said. “The Charlton deal was basically done, but this came up and I decided to take it.”
His contract in Qatar runs for two months, allowing him to reassess in the summer. Jamaica could still qualify for the World Cup via March’s play-offs, but Antonio insists he is focused only on immediate goals.
“Whatever happens in the summer, happens. Right now it’s about playing games, getting fit and scoring goals. If I stay fit, I’ll perform. I feel like the best possibility of staying fit is out here rather than playing Tuesdays and Saturdays.”
Antonio also reflected candidly on the emotional toll of the past year. Therapy, which he first sought during a divorce, has played a significant role in helping him process setbacks.
“It wasn’t until I was going through a divorce that I started therapy,” he said. “Therapy made me realise there are so many things you go through in life that you don’t actually live in the moment.
“With Leicester, I was numb. But numbing isn’t dealing with it. When you speak to someone — not someone who gives their opinion, but someone who helps you understand what’s going on — you realise those moments are key.”
Asked about Qatar’s human rights record and whether criticism of the country influenced his decision, Antonio was frank.
“To be honest, I don’t really know what criticism people are talking about. Since I’ve been here — and I’ve been here during Ramadan — it’s been all right for me.
“From my experience, and from the people I’ve spoken to, they’ve really enjoyed it here.”
For Antonio, the simple pleasures of football — the smell of freshly cut grass, the tension of matchday, the battle for three points — have been absent for too long. Now, after months of pain, pride and perseverance, he says he feels “like a schoolboy again,” eager to prove that his story is far from over.
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